5/11/16

5-11-16

8am 
Dear diary,

I’m not a morning person ever. I feel like when I was kid it was way easier for me. I had the pure innocence of a child who thought life would one day be easy and fun. So I got up and went everyday. Wish I could go back and punch myself in the face a couple times tell my smaller self that naps are important when your a kid, you’ll take that shit for granted one day when you’re older. I would go back and tell myself to have more fun and enjoy being a child while I still had time. Sleep more when your parents tell you. You don’t always get a lot of sleep when your older. I would tell her to work harder because life ain’t gonna be easy all the time. 
But, you can never go back. As you get older and realize you took a lot of shit for granted. You wish you would have taken different steps. But here’s where I’m at in life. 26 was a another hard year for me. It was complete shit. I don’t regret anything. Then again, there’s always that voice inside your head saying you could of done better. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, but you didn’t. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I’ll most likely continue. We’re only human. I’m getting my life back together piece by piece slowly. I’ll get there. I woke up this morning feeling so much better. I actually wanted to get out of my bed and do things. Time to start being a little selfish and stop worrying about everything else and focus on myself. One day I’ll look back and realize I got through it and I can get through anything. Takes time. 

But it’s time to start enjoying life again. 

Like the little old lady at work says “you can do bad by yourself” and dammit I’m gonna. 

mc 

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