You were different, unlike anyone I’ve met. Why can’t you get out of my head. You have been all I’ve been thinking about. You meet someone who is incredibly amazing and poof they are gone out of your life for no reason with out any explanation.
We met, I felt this instant spiritual connection. Maybe I was the only one though? I guess we meet new people to teach us different things in life. Or what I’m told.. Why do I always care so much is what I want to know? After knowing this human for only two months how could I possibly care about him so much? I don’t get it.
It’s not like I’m out looking for guys bar hopping that’s not me, I don’t play that. I’m not that girl. Dating in 2015 is so dumb. Most guys want “friendship” like what is this? No romance? I don’t give a crap if you hold my door open or buy me flowers. I like adventures, hanging out with my family and friends who are basically family.
I just don’t understand what it is about the friendship. I get it, friends first, then lovers. I’m all about that, I truly am. But, friends then poof see ya never. Am I doing something wrong? Am I caring too much? I’m not putting myself out there like some call girl!
2015, the Internet and social media bullshit. Exactly why I don’t use it. About three years ago I was really into Facebook, Instagram and then I pretty much fell off the face of the earth. It’s like highschool, and fakeness all into one. It’s a terrible place. The sad thing is when people post things on social media any one will believe anything!
I felt like I was doing everything right. But, when someone says in the beginning they want to be friends? Then what? They confuse you and cross boundaries that friends would not cross then the feelings start happening. “Don’t get attached” “I don’t want you to get hurt” who the hell didn’t know I wasn’t gonna get hurt lol. I have a big heart. I’ve always cared more than anyone. Why this happens every time I get close to someone who the hell knows. Either I’m not relationship material, or the universe isn’t ready for me to be in one.
I’m still unsure if I want a relationship. I’m confusing, right? Yea, I already knew this. I want to be loved. I want someone to travel the world with, to learn with, to grow with, to have fun with, and be spiritual with. Maybe it’s asking for too much I’m really not sure any more.
I just know I’m not looking anymore. I don’t give up but I’m not on the “search for love”. If it’s meant to be it will happen. I’ve been like “good luck chuck” because the past few guys I’ve dated they’ve now found the love of their lives. I mean yea good for them but I feel like I’m everyone’s good luck charm but my own.